Got Competence?

This last weekend I was privileged enough to attend Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity in Washington DC.

It was an amazing once in a lifetime experience that I will never forget. Just the sheer humanity that was gathered together in one place blew my mind.

As you can see from this hastily made map, there were more then double the anticipated amount of people. Also, I had an awesome spot. It was insane. 

So some of the highlights...The Roots, John Legend, the Mythbuster guys,

Yusef,

Ozzy Osbourne, Kid Rock, Sheryl Crow and don't forget Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.

Also, this.

Yeah. I was totally there. I still can't even beileve it. Nor can I adequately describe what went on. The message was simple. We cannot let fear, whether it be from Washington, the Media, or ourselves, dictate our choices. Maybe I will just let Jon Stewart explain...  

* I might add more pictures later but most of them are blurry and kind of sad...

Victory will be mine!

I am so proud. Is that wrong?

Created by Oatmeal

Oh, the good ole' days...

The Onion | Money Spent For Old Times Sake

BROCKWAY, PA—Harkening back to an abandoned custom that had long existed only in memory, 28-year-old unemployed graphic designer Leslie Gordon exchanged currency for physical goods at a local shopping establishment Friday. "I was reminiscing about all the good times I used to have buying things with money, so I figured why not give it another go?" said Gordon, happily reliving the once-common act of selecting an item of her choosing, taking it to the register for payment, and then becoming its sole owner. "Look, they even still have those barcodes like I remember." As a result of her nostalgic splurge, Gordon will be forced to subsist entirely on maple-syrup- flavored Quaker Oats until next week.

I feel for you Leslie...

noun: a difficult, precarious, or entrapping position

The situation in Afghanistan is getting more complicated everyday. This is a nation basically ran by regional warlords and their heroin factories. The only "legitimate" government in the country is quickly becoming not so legitimate with the recent fraudulent re-election of President Hamid Karzai. We are trying to fight and win a war in a country that no international force has EVER been able to conquer. (I mean no one ever has been able to conquer this place...Alexander the Great tried, Genghis Khan tried, the USSR tried...)

I recently stumbled on this article from The Onion:

U.S. Continues Quagmire-Building Effort in Afghanistan

"We've spent a lot of time and money fostering the turmoil and despair necessary to make this a sustaining quagmire, and we're not going to stop now," President Barack Obama said in a national address Monday night. "It won't be easy, but with enough tactical errors on the ground, shortsighted political strategies, and continued ignorance of our vast cultural differences, we could have a horrific, full-fledged quagmire by 2012."

...

With more than 80 percent of the country currently under Taliban control, Defense Secretary Robert Gates argued that U.S. nation-dismantling efforts are actually proceeding ahead of schedule.

"We've made a complete mess of local institutions, and moving forward this substantial lack of infrastructure will be the cornerstone of our strategy to ensure long-term chaos in the Afghanistan-Pakistan region," said Gates, gesturing to a complex, 6-foot-tall wall map of what were either newly established al-Qaeda bases in Waziristan, tribal trade routes over the Hindu Kush, or perhaps U.S. military outposts of some kind. "I couldn't be happier with our progress.

(This is The Onion so there is a little bit of language...just a warning. Also click on the map of Afghanistan. It's pretty funny :) )

I know it is supposed to be satire but the scary thing is, is that it isn't to far from the truth.

The best thing the US can do know is band together with other nations in order to support the rebuilding of this country. We need to support education, economic growth, and find a way to make opium less profitable. We need to focus on humanitarian and diplomatic efforts rather than military. Finding Taliban leaders and punishing them for there crimes is very important but the best way to do that is with small forces not a huge occupying force. The Taliban is a guerrilla force and we should be using guerrilla tactics to fight them. This means Special Forces and Secret Ops. This is also a matter of international cooperation and creating sustainable long-term stability in Middle eastern countries. We need true allies not ones that are scared (or defensive) about perceived American Imperialism.

Satire! How Refreshing....

Now for something completely different...

Liechtenstein, Andorra Forced To Fight By Larger Countries


Obama: Health Care Plan Would Give Seniors Right To Choose How They Are Killed

These are two of my favorites :)

Open Mic Night @ the UN

There we some fun old times at the UN the other evening. But my favorite was definitely, Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez. Obama was inspiring, Qaddafi was insane, but Hugo, well see for your self....

Chavez begins speech by extensively describing "South of the Border," Oliver Stone's new movie about him. This is one high-profile movie plug.

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"I'm not going to speak any more than Qaddafi. Qaddafi has said everything that has to be said. But I won't speak less than Obama either...or Lula."

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Chavez seems pretty annoyed that people are walking in late.

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Something about creating a socialist biscuit factory.

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"There was no socialism in the Soviet Union. The 21st century will be the century of socialism."

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Qaddafi only talked about things that happened half a century ago. Chavez is going back to the dawn of life on earth.

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Uh oh. Chavez is talking about the Kennedy assassination too.

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'I hope God will protect obama from the bullets that killed Kennedy.'

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Ladies and gentlemen, we have our money quote: "It doesn't smell of sulfur here anymore."

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Chavez is just yukking it up. "Don't anyone throw a shoe at me."

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Finally, we get to Honduras.

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"The Pentagon is behind the coup in Honduras."

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Chavez asks if there are "two Obamas."

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Apparently Chavez is "good friends" with King Juan Carlos now.

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Noam Chomsky now? He's already hyped Oliver Stone and Robert Galleano. This speech is just packed full of product placement.

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"I'm Venezuelan, but I feel like a Colombian."

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Chavez joins Sarkozy in praising the Stiglitz Report

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Another book. Chavez now reading from Istvan Meszaros's "Beyond Capital," calling it one of the "masterpieces of the 21st century. He's giving Oprah a run for his money now.

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Finished by breaking into song. Wow.

Chavez: See my movie|FP Passport

And now for my boring analysis....There are two things that came to mind as I was reading this. First was that what an effective tool humor can be. Chavez is slowing building up a bloc of supporters and I think the main way he is doing it is through is charismatic personality. He is easy and fun to listen to even if you don’t agree with anything he may say. Diplomacy is all about getting people to trust you and Chavez is doing a pretty good job of that. Second is that I think it is time for people to reexamine our relationship with Venezuela. I don’t think Chavez had a problem with the United States per say but with former President Bush and his polarizing policies. He has shown support of President Obama and I think this is the chance for the United States to start rebuilding a profitable relationship with this South American country. This is a post from a Huffington Post blog that has Chavez explaining why he supports Barack Obama.

This is a title.

It has been awhile. I apologize. I just have nothing interesting or insightful to say these days. I could complain about how horrible my Econ class is but I'm sure no one wants to hear me rant about consumer surplus. I could talk about how I ended up auditioning for Humor U (the BYU stand-up club) . But then I'd be lying and that wouldn't be good. I was going to do it and then at the very last second I chickened out. I really need to learn to follow through. I could talk about how I miss my friends . But then I remember that it's my own fault for never talking with them. I could talk about plans for my birthday party but I don't think that it's going to happen this year. (6 1/2 more days till I'm 20. Crazy!) So you see, you get to listen to me blabber about nothing important. Wasn't that a fun waste of time? I know it was for me. ;)

The North Korean Problem

I've been reading a lot about North Korea and this missile/rocket thing they are testing out. Everyone is freaking out and wondering why they wan to blow us up. Well, I think I might have figured it out. World leaders are just like little kids on a playground. They just want to be included. Let me explain.

Let’s say that Little Georgie Bush just got a brand new model airplane for his birthday but little Kim Jong Il’s mom and dad could only afford to give him a ball of brown yarn. And Little Georgie is only letting those children that don’t harbor or fund terrorists play with his new toy. This means little Kim Jong can only watch the fun from afar and this obviously makes him very sad and jealous. So he skifes some matches from his good friend Mouhmoud and threatens to send a flaming ball of yarn into Georgie’s sandbox if he can’t take the plane for a spin. The only problem is that right now Kim Jong's arm is severely deformed and he can only toss the yarn as far as the mud puddle that is right in front of him. (His parents are trying to get that fixed but they have run into some technical difficulties.) The only hope the Great Free Sandbox has is Georgie's adopted brother, Barack. He has finally entered the playground and has taken over the defense of the sandbox. And, thankfully, is trying to befriend Kim Jong, but he is still paranoid. Little Georgie was so mean to him (stealing lunch money, barring him from the club house, convincing his parents and friends that he is just a lunatic) he's going to have hard time learning to trust this new guy. He better though cause Barack has one of the best arms in 5th grade and I hear he's got a whole box of matches. All we can do is pray that the kids on the playground will soon return to peaceful coexistence.

Okay maybe I took that analogy a bit to far...

Here's an article --> N. Korea Rocket on Launch Pad

I can't think of a witty enough title

So I'm thinking about trying something new. It's pretty scary for me and I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. Don't worry it's nothing too weird. Please don't laugh...or maybe you should laugh...crap. This might not work. Did you laugh just then? If the answer is yes then you can keep reading. If it was no then please stop reading immediately and go find something better to occupy your time.

Okay so I want to do stand-up comedy. I know it's weird and crazy and improbable and the hardest performing art to break into and I suck at the whole writing jokes thing but I think it would be fun. And the BYU stand-up club doesn't have a girl so that like gives me a better chance, right? Okay so probably affirmative action doesn't apply in this situation.

...Yeah so I'm already starting to doubt my abilities. I'll get back to you guys...

Just laugh...you know you want too!

More funny comics!

"Life has loveliness to sell..." and for a limited time it's only $9.99!

This semester I am taking a Biology class. It's nothing special, just Bio 100. I need it to graduate or I wouldn't be taking it. But you see my professor is special. And by special I mean he obviously has suffered a traumatic brain injury. His name is Hal Black and he is obsessed with birds. On several occasions he has brought in dead birds that he has carefully placed on a paper towel and passed them around the class. Apparently this man has never heard of disease. I spend 95% of the class drawing pictures and I don't miss anything. When I decide to tune in I discover we are talking about Santa. Or the fact that just because the Cardinals lost the Superbowl doesn't mean birds are any less majestic. One day we watched Amadeus. (Good movie, bad biology lesson.) Our tests are even more bizzare.

Sample Question: Dead feathers, so what?
Acceptable answer: a poem about ducks.

At this point you're all probably thinking "yeah right". I am not joking. This man is insane. I really don't understand how the administration has let this continue.

We all live in a Yellow Submarine!

Haha! I found this on Google video and I could pass up sharing it will everyone! Watching this movie is probably the closest any of you will ever come to being on drugs. It's like an acid trip on film. The Beatles were amazing! Enjoy! :D

-->Watch it Now<--

And I used to work here...

So I'm not even slightly a Mitt Romney supporter but sometimes you gotta draw the line. I guess recently there have been several anti-Romney, anti-Mormon phone calls to cities across Iowa and New Hampshire. Can you guess who was accused of making the calls? From Phillip Elliot at AP:

Apparently, they came from a Utah-based company called Western Wats with a track record of doing such negative calls.

See!! I told you the place was evil!

Okay, okay, Wats was later found to not be involved and the owner claims the poll comes from some random 527 supporter of McCain.

So it probably wasn't really them but I thinks it's hilarious that not even Western Wats can escape the mess that is the 2008 Election.

I needed a laugh

Wow! You better not get used to all this three posts a day stuff cause it probably won't ever happen again. (Actually now that I think about it...disregard my last comment please)


Ok the real reason I'm here again! I found some funny comics and I just had to share them with someone! Enjoy! :D